"Well, I think this song is about man's right to completely disregard the bond between two men in a handshake; Which can be proven by the Cartesian examples of anthropomorphism. For those who are not familiar, anthropomorphism is the study of human bonding through trivial gestures. By means of a shrug of the shoulders, or sway of the hips, man is instantly enthralled in the heat of battle."
"I agree whole heartedly with Iceman's interpretation and in fact, I am quite impressed with his knowledge of anthropomorphism. I myself am currently finishing my doctorate in said subject, hence why this song is particularly interesting to me. Although I would like to touch on one other important point that Iceman may have simply forgotten. That is: While Johnathan Cartesian is certainly one of the most prolific and outspoken voices in this field, I think it would be prudent to acknowledge the later works of a man named Wolfgang Van Ottenheimer, discoverer of what later became known as the Ottenheimer co-angular apocryphal. This theorem deals specifically with the exchange of bonds in a handshake. If we are to hold this theory true, then you would see that the song is actually about the simulated protocol of the western revolutionary triangulates."
"Western revolutionary triangulates? Hmm. I wonder if Johnathan Cartesian was named after Rene Descartes."
"Now I think this song basically states the obvious in human nature, men try to dominate all other classes. We see in the world today that a lot of men try to show their dominance over other men with a strong handshake, a firm grip some say, this just proves that human beings in general are pretty much superficial. This is of course just my opinion."
"The Handshake is a simple interpretation. There once was a time where a shake of the hand or having a man's work was as strong as a contract. It was a time where a man actually was respected for his integrity. Somewhere in the mix we sold our integrity for a shrewd business deal. Maynard (from TOOL) defines this altogether too familiar phenomenon as 'smiley glad hands'. Such a description is very accurate. What I think Greg basically is trying to say, 'if you aren't going to stand by your word, then fend for yourself and leave the rest of society alone.'"
-John From Stillborn